There is no other, love like a mothers, love for her child ...

The last post, my mother sounded like an evil person, but she isn’t, she was just a bit tuff on us.
What I’m going to write today is my mother’s story. My mother didn’t have a normal childhood, and maybe her childhood was a bit worse than anyone I know. She grew up without a mother, her mother died when she was only 2 years old. She had cancer and went to a hospital in Europe and died there. No one told my mother that her mother had died till she was 13. So you can imagine how hard that was on her. My Grandfather was maybe the worst father ever, it didn’t take long for him to re-marry , and he married a bitch, a woman that was so heartless so obnoxious that I don’t know how my grandfather loved her. She manipulated my grandfather and told him not to let my mother live in the same wing they were in, my mother’s grandparents had a huge mansion that they all lived in, and my mother step-mother didn’t want my mother to stay in their side of the mansion. My mother was raised by her aunt, and let’s just says she wasn’t the best person to raise a child, she was so tuff on my mother(a reason why she was tuff on us) she never let my mother go to her friend’s house, and when someone would call asking for my mother, she would tell them that she’s not available; even thou my mother would be standing next to her. My mother had no social life what so ever, the only friends she had were her cousins who lived in the same house as she did. My mother used to tell me how jealous she would get, because she had no mother, while her cousins would complain about how their mother, who is my mother’s other aunt, over the silliest little things.
My mother used to tell me stories about when she was a child, I can never ever forget her face when she told me, her eyes used to tear up and she tries so hard not to shed a tear in front of me. She used to tell me that the kids in her school used to call her “alna’9rah al7azeenah” she always and till now has a look, she thinks I never see her when she dazes of and her eyes get all teary, I know that she’s thinking about her mother, thinking how different her life would have been if she had a real mother.
No matter what anyone says, the worst thing in life is growing up without a mother, without really knowing what “unconditional love” means, without having that person who gets so worried when ur sick, or just knows what’s on your mind without even saying it. A mother’s love in irreplaceable, and never experiencing it, is the worst thing one can go through.

1 2 3 its easy as A B C ...

Before I start i'd like to thank everyone for their comments,I'm new in this whole blogging world so nexttime i'll peply to ur comments, and also to make things clear, my whole blog story isn't revolved around a sappy love story, or even a guy. No guy can cripple me the way I am.



So to start it all off I should start at my childhood, thats were everyone starts, Right? Well my childhood wasn't that bad i guess. When i come to think about it and look back at my childhood. i do think that it was that bad. There were many bad things thou. I remmber my mother used to hit us alot when we did somthing wrong. She always gets mad so fast, and over any little thing. I remmber when I was in about 2nd grade, i used to go to school and have fun there, and then when i get home and its time to do my homework my mother would always yell or get mad if i didn't do it right, and i remmebr at that time when she gets mad i used to always say in my head, " I always have a good day but mama always pops that happy bubble i'm in ", when i think about it now i really don't know what it ment, but all i know is that my mother was really hard on us.

I love my mother don't get me wrong, but I do think that there are other ways to teach us or raise us then hitting and yelling all the time. I used to be afraid of her when she gets mad. When i come to think about it most of my childhood memrioes of my mother was her either hitting or yelling at us. I remmber this one time me and my sibblings were playing down stairs in he morining before our parents woke up, and then my mother woke up and called me and my older sister, she took us into out colset and hit us, and the reason why she did it is kinda blurry, i don't remmber why, but all i remmber was her hitting us with a flip flop. I love my mother, i love her more then anything in the world, that was her way of raising us, it was wrong most of the times, and i know that i'm never gooing to do the same with my children. But my mother did what she did for her own reason's. My mother had a disturbing childhood, but i'll leave her story for next time.

My father, my father wasn't a big part of my life, he cares about himself more then anyone and anything else, and i took that from him. Till now my relationship with my father is not like a typical normal father daughter relationship. My sibblings have a better relationship with him than me. I always kept my distance from him, i always thought he hated me most, and i don't know why i ever thought that. My father was cold, he never showed his emotions, you never knew if he was mad, he was happy or anything, he laughed and joked with his friends, but when he was at home he didn't talk to us alot. Although i'm not that close with my dad yet me and him have alot in common, which i find really weird.
This is it for now, we have to leave some for next time ....

Here's the day you hoped would never come ...

Basically I should introduce myself bcuz this my first post. Well theres nothing you really need to know. My therapist made me open a blog, or as he calls it " an internet journal". Why did i have to do this? Bcuz i need to share my feeling and talk about my life to someone, and bcuz i don't know anyone of you guys so he thinks I might be honest and share everything, and apparently he thinks i'm not 100% honest with him, well actually i'm not, and theres a reason for tat coz at first i thought he was hot, but now i'm finding him a bit borng and not as hot as b4 + i try to be as honest as i could, but i think he judges me and i hate it when someone judges me, i know i'm a bad person, but i do have a good side too, but ppl choose to focus on the ugly side, so maybe by writing my feeling, my thoughts, all my hidden secrets and stories here, i won't really care if someone judges me, bcuz i don't know anyone and i really don't care .
So my dear's you will be the shoulder i will cry on, and you will know evey single detail in my lifethe good and the ugly, and i know how ppl just LOVE to hear about someone else's shit, even if they don't know the person, and believe me everyone, you'll love what i have to say.
So everyone enojy the ride and get ready for alot of juciy stories to come up, and with you guy's i'm gna be 100% honest, not cuz i like ya'll or anything, it so i can feel what ppl say when they say " the truth shall set you free" , and to get out all the i tried to keep inside for many years and made me what i am, a crazy person !!!